Inspired by Bethany's candid blog I shall share a story as well. About a year ago I engaged my students in conversations about race and racism in schooling as I often do. In doing so, one of the commets I made at the time was that "in a racialized world we breathe in and breathe out racism". I explained how we all act in racist and prejudicious ways, not missing a beat one students aked: "So Mr. are you saying you are a racist". I responded "yes", "but I am also aware that I act in racist and prejudicious ways and awareness is key to resisting". (this some might have heard this story before but it ends differently this time)

One students returned home and explained the lesson to the mother. Although, by his own account, he tried to be excited and describe how valuable the conversation had been, "it really made me think"; the mother acted with great apprehension and I was then called down to "clarify" the lesson to the school department. Despite my union rep's insistence that I "keep my mouth shut" because it gets me in trouble when I'm upset, I didn't. When I explained the lesson and the context in which I was making this statement everyone understood well the nature, and perhaps need for this kind of discussion.

Well yippee right? Not quite. My student - a black male that always "got in trouble" except during my class where he participated actively and was one of the leading voices in class discussions - was forbidden from being in my class. I tried on several occasions to talk with the mother (who refused to be present at any meeting). My attempts where useless. Immediately afterwards anger, resent, and many other emotions built themselves up in me and ultimately were released upon the student. His attempts to come into my class and chill were met with "you are not allowed to be in my class, you know this". After a while I began talking to him but never in an engaging way. He was expelled from the school this year. Although my awareness of this was little I do wonder, what if I had fought harder? Channeled my energy and build up of emotions in "proactive rather than reactive" ways, a common phrase I use with students.

I wish I had the level of optimism that Lee Ann Bell et al have. My frustration comes out of the fact that I can articulate controversial ideas for my students to think through and come out with a better sense of their/our situatedness, but at least in this case I was unable to provide my student with the necessary "skills" for them to do the same with others. How true is this quote "Language plays such an important role in perpetuating oppression that miscommunication and misunderstanding can easily arise" (468)